Reflections: Daisy's diary
by i1976
Summary: Daisy reflects about her life and her feelings, in particular about Enos. FIXED AND RE-INSTALLED
1. Chapter 1

**10 february 1984**

Last night, as I drove my jeep on Hazzard's dusty roads, I was very angry. Why are Bo and Luke so annoying sometimes? I'm not a child any more; I'm a woman and they have to treat me like a woman. I'm able to take care of myself. They can't come to the Boars Nest and punch a boy only because he made me a compliment; it was a rough compliment, I know, and I decided to thank him with what he deserves, a glass full of beer directly on his head, just before they punched him. I'm able to take care of myself. I know they are protective, but sometimes they become overprotective. So annoying.

So, in the evening, coming back from the Boar's Nest, I had a fight with Bo and Luke; I'm too emotional, I know it pretty well. I had a terrific fight 'bout their being so overprotective, and it wasn't the first time.

After the fight, after a vain attempt to fall asleep, tossing and turning in my bed in despair, after leaving the farm for a ride to calm me down, and after my wandering, I realized where I was: I was there, at Enos' place, ranting 'bout everything (it's not the first time I "use" Enos for ranting 'bout something I can't rant 'bout with my family). Enos heard everything I was saying silently; he said something from time to time, and his words calmed me down.

And when he finally calmed me down, a huge embarassement took rage's place, realizing I awoke him in the middle of the night, while he was already sleeping. Oh my God!

It was 02:00 o'clock, and, acting like a gentleman, as usual, he told me to sleep in his bed whereas he'd have slept on the couch.

Cuddled under his blankets, pretending to sleep, I heard him phoning to the farm to let uncle Jesse know I was there: Enos' style, caring and honest.

At the end, I fell asleep, lulled by his sweet scent filling the bed.

When I woke up in the morning, he wasn't there any more, already out, doing his duty.

I left his apartment, and, being my day off, I decided to go shopping with Lulu; I wasn't in the mood for coming back to the farm.

I like to talk to Lulu Hogg, she's very kind. I told Lulu everything, and, when I confessed her my running to Enos' place in the middle of the night, she laughed.

I don't understand why Lulu is always so allusive 'bout my relationship with Enos; she talks always like she knows and she understands something about me and Enos above what I know.

Anyway, I like to go shopping with Lulu. It's very funny and it relaxes me.

Walking near Hazzard Bank, I saw Enos. He was talking with a young woman, and he was smiling. I know that girl: she works there, she's an employee, and I know that she's engaged with another bank clerk; but, somehow, when I see Enos smiling to another woman, it bothers me.

Enos, when you smile, is it innocence or deceit? Probably, you don't even realize it, do you? But every your smile stirs my heart, and you have to smile only to me, I want you smile only to me.

Lulu looked at Enos and the girl, then she looked at me, laughing when she saw my face, and asking me if I'm jealous.

Jealous? Not. I'm not jealous at all. Enos is only a friend, isn't he? My best friend, but only a friend, a close friend but a friend: it's what I told Lulu, it's what I said to myself... even if sometimes... No, I don't want to think 'bout it, now, it's too complicated, and I'm too tired to indulge in this kind of thoughts.

At the end of the peaceful morning spent with Lulu, it was time to come back to the farm, I couldn't avoid it any more.

Bo and Luke didn't look for me; they know that when I'm angry it's a LOT better to stay away from me. Besides, uncle Jesse knew I spent the night at Enos' place (and he trusts Enos) and I bet he knew I spent the morning with Lulu.

When I decided to go back to the farm, I was finally quiet, ready to talk to my cousins and uncle Jesse, and apologize.

On the way home, I suddenly saw Enos' patrol car, and I decided to stop to thank him for his patience.

Coming out my jeep, I walked to his patrol car and I saw him sleeping. Enos is able to sleep everywhere, also hanging on a wall; I can't help but laughing when I think of his attitude to sleep everywhere, if he needs to.

I decided to not awake him; it was my fault if he was so tired. I gently opened the door of his patrol car and I kissed him softly; he didn't wake up, but he smiled, lost in his dreams.

Was you dreaming of me, Enos Strate? And what kind of dreams? No, don't say it to me, I prefer not to know it, now. Maybe, someday, I'll ask you what you dream of, Enos, what you think of. Maybe, someday. Not today.


	2. Chapter 2

**13 February 1984**

What a terrific day.

Boss Hogg nearly fired me. Some days I hate to work at the Boar's Nest; I'd like to become a singer: it's my dream... it WAS my dream, when I was younger.

Singing... I was singing while I was driving home, but my jeep, suddenly, stopped. I had to call Cooter and the boys; Bo and Luke brought me home, and now Cooter is trying to fix the jeep.

What a bad day.

It's raining and I'm in my room writing this diary.

I don't like when it rains, except for the music: it's a perfect day to stay at home listening to good music.

Yesterday Enos gave me a tape, the tape I'm listening to, now.

Oh my, oh my. I'm listening to this tape nonstop (10? 15 times?). This singer has a beautiful voice. I envy her voice. She's a genious, she and her band: an unknow band from Los Angeles, they are pretty famous in Los Angeles (it's what Enos told me) but I didn't know them 'till Enos brought this tape from L.A.

"_I don't see the red thread of fate that ties the two of us together anymore_".

I closed my eyes and I let the song lull me.

I didn't know Enos listens this kind of music: sweet but passionate and deep songs, sometimes sad song. When he gave me this tape, talking so eagerly of this band, I thought it was something... childish. Yeah, sometimes Enos can be very childish. Even now I don't understad how he likes so much comics, fantasy books, tales and so on; it seems he lives in a total different world, a fantastic and strange world, only for himself.

He amazes me. He can be so childish sometimes (well, he's childish quite always), but he's also so mature and serious. I don't know who he really is; sometimes I think I can't trust him, but sometimes...

It's time to sleep. Tomorrow I've to work.

"_Sweet dreams, baby_".


	3. Chapter 3

_**16 february 1985**_

Another day off, another raining day.

I helped uncle Jesse to make chores, then I decided to prepare an apple-pie: cooking relaxes me. And, meanwhile I was preparing the apple-pie, I was listening again and again to Enos' tape.

I realized that I didn't yet thank him for the tape, and for the night I awoke him after the fight with the boys. When I think at that night, I'm still embarrassed; when I had the courage to thank him, he was sleeping in his patrol car, and now I've not enough courage.

When the boys came back home I was still preparing my apple-pie, lost in those powerful and emotional songs.

Bo and Luke teased me 'cause I was listenig such a strange music, so different from country music. And when I told them it's a band from Los Angeles, a REALLY famous (OK, a little lie) band and that Enos gave me this tape, they teased me even more. Sometimes Bo and Luke get on my nerves, I love them, but sometimes they REALLY get on my nerves: men, no other word to describe them.

I got angry when they began to tease Enos about this "sappy" music, and then they teased me 'cause I was guarding Enos. I know that Bo and Luke are Enos' friends, and they care for him; he's their (I mean, our) best friend, but sometimes they mock him 'cause is so naive and clumsy: I know their teasing him is innocent and tender, but sometimes I don't stand it (even if... sometimes, I too..., no, I don't want to admit it, I don't want to read, some day, these lines). Besides, I wonder if he's really so naive or if he pretends to be naive.

Well, I got so angry that I risked to throw the apple-pie at the boys (OK, OK! I'm really emotional); they know me, and when they understood I was really angry, they stopped teasing me, whereas uncle Jesse kept on laughing.

After that brief and innocent fight, sitting around the kitchen's table for dinner, we talked and laughed as usual. We talked also 'bout rain, and Luke, laughing, said that there's someone in Hazzard who doesn't fear to get dripping wet, by rain or pond's water. Bo and Luke looked at each other and then at me, bursting out laughing, and I understood that Enos' patrol car landed again in a pond.

I sighed, I threatened the boys not to eat the cake it they didn't want to die (they don't deserve my apple-pie), and I phoned to Enos.

I asked him to come to the farm, and he accepted, sneezing. Poor boy.

Three hours later I was still sitting at the kitchen's table with Enos, talking (when he wasn't sneezing) and playing checks. He ate almost all the apple-pie with a hot chocolate (it was his dinner). Sitting at the table, the rain hitting againt the windows, I finally thanked him for the tape, and for that night.

He blushed, and he said he didn't anything special. As usual.

Raining days are not so bad, after all.


	4. Chapter 4

_**24 february 1984**_

I'm the worst friend in the world.

Why am I so possessive? Or am I jealous (as Lulu said to me that day)?.

I hate Lucy. She's a Enos' friend coming from Los Angeles, Enos' next-door neighbor (they lived in the same building). She arrived yesterday and I don't know how long she'sgoing to stay here in Hazzard.

She's tiny, and she has long sleek raven hair. Her eyes are brown, dark brown, very expressive. She looks a child.

I hate her, and I'm ashamed of this feeling.

I wonder if those two have something going on; they seem good friends.

She's totally different from me, not only in her look; she's childish and clumsy, and I don't know why Enos is her friend.

Last night I went to the Boar's Nest with the boys, Enos and Lucy. I noticed that Lucy, even if she's so childish, she's also very sweet and gentle, she's funny, and she's cute. She can also be serious and clever. It's so evident: Enos and Lucy are alike.

I don't know why a got angry (what a shame), but when Lucy told us that she spent all the day with Enos, I felt like she was taking Enos' friendship away from me. And I got nasty: I don't even remember what I said, exactly, or... it's better I want to forget it, I don't want to write it here.

The boys looked at me, in shock. Enos stared at me with a sad look, then he left the Boar's Nest with Lucy (she nearly cried because of my words).

When I arrived at the farm I was crying, and Bo and Luke didn't know what to say (men are always scared and confused by women's temper, especially a temper like my one, a wild temper). Uncle Jesse patiently listened to me; he's right: I have to apologize to Lucy. But I don't know how to explain my behaviour.

Now I'm in my bedroom and I can't sleep, since I can't stop thinking of where Enos and Lucy are, what they are doing, what they are saying. Does she stay at Enos' place? Or in the only Hazzard's Hotel? And, when they stayed in Los Angeles, what did they do togheter, what did they talk 'bout? Why are they friends? Does he like her? Does she like him?

I can't help but hating that girl.

Is it REALLY jealousy?


	5. Chapter 5

_**25 february 1984**_

Thunders. Lightnings. All day long.

The jeep stopped again while I was coming back home, but thankfully it didn't start to rain when I was in the middle of the road.

I saw a patrol car approaching, and for the first time in my life I hoped it was Rosco's instead of Enos' patrol car.

But it was Enos' one. He stopped, and smiling to me, he asked me if he could help me.

He's always so polite, and I don't deserve it; not after last night and my behavior towards Lucy.

Few minutes after I entered the car, it begins raining; it was a pouring rain, and I was glad not to be in the middle of the road.

I didn't know what to say, so I watched out of the window as he drove me back home. The sky was black and heavy, and lightnings were crossing it. The car filled with wet soil's smell, mixed with Enos' scent: I can feel it also right now, locked in my room.

Enos was driving silently, focused on the road, but the car bogged down, so he had to come out the car trying to unblock it, but it didn't work.

We had to stay in the car waiting it stopped raining.

I didn't know what to do, nor what to say.

He suddenly said that he was sorry I didn't like Lucy, 'cause he hoped I could be her friend.

Friends? Lucy and me? Is it possible he doesn't understand...? No, he can't understand something that is not clear in my mind, first of all. After a deep sigh, I promised him I'll try.

Luckily it stopped raining, as the rain was waiting for my positive answer, and he managed to unblock the patrol car.

When we finally arrived at the farm, I thanked him for the ride, but I didn't ask him to come in for a hot chocolate, still confused 'bout him and Lucy... and myself, these new and pesky feelings.

He was all wet and mudded... If only I could turn back time...

The only thing I can do is to try to become Lucy's friend. It's difficult for me, but I don't want to lose Enos's friendship, and if I keep on acting like that I'll lose it for sure.


	6. Chapter 6

**27 february 1984**

Finally I talked with Lucy and I apologised for my bad temper. A little lie: I said I wasn't feeling well that evening (headache), so I snapped at her; even if it was a pitiful lie she seemed to believe it, the same trust and goodness of Enos.

It's strange, but I start to like her, especially when I found out she has a boyfriend in Los Angeles. Enos and her boyfriend are friends. This thing calm me down.

Now I'm feeling better, and I'm listening again to the tape Enos gave to me (since Lucy's arrival, I avoided to listen to it).

Today I spent almost all the day with Lucy, 'cause Enos was working, and she was alone.

We went shopping, we had a walk and we had lunch. We had a good time.

We also met Enos as he was walking out the Courthouse to his patrol car, and he was very happy to see me and Lucy together.

I invited her at the farm, and she met uncle Jesse; uncle Jesse seems to like her, or maybe he's glad to see that I apologised to her and that we've become friends.

I asked her if she knows the band whose Enos gave me the tape (the band's name is The Mulberries; it's the first time I'm writing the band's name on this diary; well, it's not a name very imaginative, but it's nice). She laughed when I asked her 'bout The Mulberries (and I don't understand why she burst out like that); she asked me what I think 'bout The Mulberries and she listened to me, laughing when I said their name is not so impressive, but their music is sensationally impressive.

Then she smiled, and she said that she agreed with me.

Sometimes Lucy is strange. She's somehow childish, but she's smart and funny.

In the evening Lucy stayed at the Boar's Nest while I was working, then Enos reached her.

It's strange for me to see them two together, but now that I know she's engaged, I'm not worried at all.

I know Enos doesn't belong to me, but when I think about it, I feel sad. What if some day...

Anyway, I can't be sad; 1st march is my birthday, and I want to be happy. I'll spend my birthday with my family and with my friends (Lucy included).


	7. Chapter 7

_**2 march 1984**_

Yesterday was my birthday. The best one of my life.

I was very happy; it was a sunny day, and the sky was clear.

I woke up early and I prepared breakfast for Bo, Luke and uncle Jesse. They wished me a happy birthday, and they gave me their present: a beautiful red dress; I decided to put it on in the evening.

During the day I was so excited thinking about the evening.

But I'd have never imagined... Stop, I have to write it slowly, step by step.

As usual, in the morning, Enos came to the farm to wish me a happy birthday; he never forgets my birthday. He stopped his patrol car in front of the farm while I was hanging out my washing; he looked at me, or, more precisely, at my underwear hanging out, and he fell into a sort trance, waking up only after I called him many times and after Luke snapped his fingers in front of his nose.

Sweet and funny Enos. Bo and Luke laughed, and I couldn't help but laughing too, even if I felt my cheeks burning as I blushed. It's not the first time my underwear sends Enos in trance; he's so funny, right, but everytime I can't help but thinking about his thoughts and his feelings for me.

He simply said:" Happy birthday, Dais. See you this evening. Bye", then he left. Not a kiss nor a hug, but Enos is Enos.

During the day I stayed at home, so I didn't see Enos anymore, nor Lucy.

Finally, I arrived at the Boar's Nest with Bo and Luke, dressing my new dress.

It was crowded, but I immediately saw Enos (but not Lucy).

Girls paid me many compliments for my new dress.

Enos approached to me. He was still wearing his uniform; he wished me again a happy birthday, blushing at the sight of me in my new dress. He's so sweet.

I looked around and I asked him where Lucy was. He smiled, and suddenly the lights switched off.

I realized only at that time that there was a small stage, lightened by a floodlight.

On stage there were three boys (a bassist, a guitarist and a drummer), all dark dressed. I never saw them in Hazzard.

When they started to play, I immediately recognized The Mulberries's music. My heart was beating so fast, especially when Lucy came on stage, she said "Happy birthday, Daisy", and she started to sing; it was that amazing voice that so many times I've listened thanks to the tape Enos gave to me.

I don't know why but I began to cry.

Enos took my hand, holding it during all the concert, and squeezing it gently as he saw me crying.

My birthday's concert.

Thinking now about it, the reason why I cried was not only 'cause Enos gave me this present, but also 'cause I finally realized I wanted to hold his hand. Always. Forever.

Some day I'll be able to say it to him, to show him my real feelings. Will I be able?


	8. Author's note

_**Author's**** note**_

_Recently, looking at my traffic stats, I was really surprised (a great surprise) and stunned 'bout how many people keep on reading my FIRST stories, stories I wrote in 2007 (WOW, so much time ago). I didn't realize it 'till now._

_I don't know if they are NEW readers or my usual readers that, time after time, need to go back to those stories._

_Anyway, NEW or OLD readers, I decided to.. ehm.. fix these stories: since they are my first stories they are very elemental in grammar and execution._

_This was my FIRST story._

_I didn't change the plot (uh, it's a diary, a slice-of-life's diary... so it's not a surprising plot, LOL); I fixed grammar (or I hope so), and I added some lines whereas I deleted or changed some other ones._

_So, people who's already read it won't find anything really new in it (maybe some hints, and for sure a better style), but there's no need they re-read it (but if they want to re-read it, I won't be offendend, LOL). And people who's going to read it for the first time, I hope they'll enjoy it (not only the sense of this story, but the grammar and style too)._

_The story is still a bit elemental: naive and too much sweet, in some points. But I can't deny my original style (it's matured along the years, but it's not changed so much). And grammar will never be perfect, unfortunately. Besides, I'm going to fix and refresh these stories, I don't want to totally change them (I don't want to write them in a totally different way, but only transform them in something better without "deny" them... a difficult balance between past and present)._

_Another little thing to add: I've always liked to enter Daisy's head, more than Enos' head (even if I'm a Enos's huge fan). So, interestingly, my first story was a story totally written in first person, Daisy's POV, her diary: since it's a diary, chapters are very short and I used a simple and natural language, it's a flow of thoughts, written without any complications (grammatical and psychological). If I had written a sort of Daisy's diary NOW, probably I'd have changed something; in this story there are some things I'd change 'bout Daisy's personality (it's developed in my mind story by story, and Enos' personality too), but since I don't want to distort the spirit and the feelings that brought me to write this story, I didn't change anything fundamental._

_Probably I'm going to re-write other stories (my oldest ones), for two reasons:_

_- They NEED to be fixed, LOL, for respect of NEW readers (and OLDER ones too)_

_- I want to find again that atmosphere and spirit, to find again my personal way to write fic and to imagine DOH's universe (lately I've a bit lost this way), focusing on characters' development and relationships. And in order to find again this spirit I have to go back to the origin, fixing and refreshing my oldest stories._

_Don't worry, I'm not forgetting my on-going story. But, looking back at these stories helps me to focus better on my on-going story, especially about relationships (not only Daisy and Enos, but Bo, Luke and uncle Jesse too); I need to refresh the DOH I've always had in my mind: a mix of love, friendship, honesty, trust, family's bonds, sacrifice, where nobody is never alone or abandoned because of the strong idea of justice, family, friendship and love... a world full of good and sweet feelings... despite some "tragedies" and difficult moments here and there, LOL (I love angst, you know, but my-style-angst). _

_Sorry for this long and boring note... longer than some chapters of the story, .. OMG._

_Obviously any review is welcome, from new or old readers: any hint, idea, doubt or perspective in order to improve characterization and adherence to original show and characters._


End file.
